Stress is Neither Good nor Bad – Until You Label It

Have you ever considered that your biggest challenge in managing stress is not the stress itself but how you perceive it?

Years ago, I struggled with a panic disorder. The panic attacks were debilitating. It would start with a tight feeling in my stomach, my heart pounding, and my mind spooling up anxious thoughts. I would fight against my stress response, futilely trying to control what was happening. Left unchecked, my mind would escalate those stressful feelings until they became full-blown panic. Ironically, it was fear of stress and my attempts to control it that would ultimately lead to the panic attack.

It took a lot of therapy to learn the strategies to manage and eventually overcome my panic disorder. Want to know the “secret” that I had to employ? Do nothing. That was it! When I felt the stress building and was afraid of a panic attack, all I had to do was let my body feel how it wanted to feel. The only way I could “gain control” was by surrendering control. Most of my therapy and skill-building was how to stop fighting against my body’s natural response to the stressors.

One of the things I learned in therapy – reinforced later in my life through learning about stress – is that our stress response is neutral. It’s a pre-programmed response to stimuli designed to aid survival and learning. The “anxious” feelings I experienced before a panic attack were inherently no different from the feelings one might experience doing something exciting, like riding a roller coaster, skydiving, or bungee jumping. The only difference was my perception.

My mind and body escalated because I applied a negative label to my feelings. As soon as I felt the adrenaline rush, instead of thinking, “Ooo, this is exciting!” I would think, “Oh no, I can’t believe this is happening!” It took me a long time to develop a mindset that allowed me to embrace those feelings rather than fight them. Once I did, the panic attacks decreased in duration and intensity until they almost completely went away.

I recently learned that the only difference between Eustress (positive stress) and Distress (negative stress) is how you perceive the stress you are experiencing.

If you view your stress as harmful and destructive, it will become damaging. It will decrease your quality of life, interfere with your performance, and hurt your well-being. It quite literally becomes toxic. However, if you can view your stress as enhancing, you can leverage your stress response to aid in performance, learning, and health.

It’s quite a paradox and runs against how we are generally taught to view stress. We are taught that stress is the villain, but the reality is that stress is an evolutionary gift. We get stressed because we care about something. Our stress response helps us function during stressful events and recover afterward.

Sometimes, our stress response gets a bit carried away, and this is evident with mental illnesses such as PTSD, anxiety, and panic disorders (of which I’ve had all three). However, outside of irregular functioning, stress can absolutely be viewed as positive and beneficial.

The key to harnessing the power of our stress response is recognizing that our stress responses help us.

Next time you feel stressed, take a moment to follow these steps:

1. Acknowledge the stress. Accept that you feel stressed. Don’t judge, blame, or label it.
2. Embrace the stress. You are feeling this way because you care about the situation. Don’t resist, fight, or try to minimize it. You gain control by surrendering control.
3. Harness the stress. Your body and mind are preparing you for your situation. Recognize that your stress response will improve your performance, learning, and health. Visualize putting it to good use.

I firmly believe that I wouldn’t have gotten my panic disorder if I had known these things. It was my act of fighting against my stress response that caused it to escalate. Although distress has distinct adverse effects on us, remember that the difference isn’t in the stress itself but in how you perceive it. Build a positive relationship with stress by adopting a “stress is enhancing” mindset.