I was playing games with my kids not too long ago and was hit with one of those moods—the mood where you feel a bit depressed, irritable, and down. You can’t put your finger on the cause, but you just feel depressed. When it’s impossible to be cheerful, your mind gets lost in a dark place, and you are no longer present. Your family notices your bad mood, leading to arguments – because you can’t find an explanation. Although the cause might be elusive, there is a solution.  

Usually, I don’t mind my feelings. I like to think of them as a signal that something needs attention. Sometimes, I only need to sit with the feeling to give it some space. Other times, I may need to act on something I’ve been avoiding, and I use that feeling to provide motivation.

However, sometimes these depressed feelings became a problem because they would start affecting my behavior. I would be a little less cheerful and attentive to my kids, a bit more irritable, and feel like withdrawing from what I know I should be doing.

If you are ever in this position, the worst thing to do is nothing. By withdrawing from what you know is necessary, you are practicing avoidant coping, which will take you further from where you want to be.

When you feel like withdrawing and wallowing, that is exactly when you need to act despite those feelings. This is the time to dig into your toolbox of positive coping mechanisms and do something, anything, that will allow you to achieve a win.

My favorite thing to do when I feel this way is to get some exercise in. Numerous studies have shown exercise's positive impact on our mood, and you might be surprised at how little is required to provide a benefit. If you aren’t normally active, even a ten-minute walk is enough to cause your brain to release endorphins that will help boost your mood.

To overcome that resistance to action, you can set a goal of “just getting started.” One of my favorites is what I call “better than nothing workouts,” where my goal is just to start working out. After my first few reps, I often get motivated to keep going, resulting in a “better than nothing” workout. By just getting started on your positive coping mechanism, you will likely want to continue because you already put in the effort to get moving.

Commit to taking the first step:

• Cleaning- get started by picking up a couple of items.
• Reading- commit to reading two pages.
• Walking- commit to getting dressed and walking to your sidewalk.

Going back to my story, after wrapping up my games with my kids, I went out for a 20-minute walk with them. By the time we returned home, I felt substantially better, and my “down” mood was behind me. I know from previous experiences that when I get some exercise, despite feeling down, it almost always boosts my mood. I use my trust from previous experiences to inspire me to overcome my internal resistance and take the first step.

If it were easy, I wouldn’t be writing this article. I know exactly what it feels like when the last thing you want to do is act. However, that is precisely what you need to do when you feel that way. Taking action gives you the ammunition to reframe negative thoughts toward something more positive and constructive.

Next time you feel down, pick your favorite positive coping mechanism and commit to “just getting started.”

Lastly, I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge clinical depression. If your feelings of depression are causing significant distress or impairment in your functioning and are lasting for a period longer than two weeks, then your best course of action will be to work with a psychologist who can provide you with specialized support to help you.