Are your internal beliefs holding you back from overcoming your challenges and living your best life?

We all have internal beliefs that form part of our identity. Some beliefs can be very helpful, such as believing you are strong, resilient, and brave. If I believe I am resilient, I will be more inclined to perform the activities that support that identity. I will apply positive coping mechanisms because if I don’t, it will conflict with the identity I’ve created for myself.

Your internal dialogue plays a big role in your behavior because you will subconsciously act in accordance with those beliefs. The problem arises when we unknowingly hold limiting and negative beliefs. These might include believing you are broken because you are struggling, believing you are a failure because you can’t do the things you used to do, or thinking you are weak because you are comparing your response to others around you. These beliefs make challenging situations harder because they add more stress, pressure, and guilt to an already difficult situation.

Orson Scott Card said it best in his book, Speaker for the Dead: “We question all of our beliefs, except those we believe the most, and those we never think to question.”

One of my biggest challenges has been simply recognizing that I’m holding on to limiting beliefs. When I was dealing with PTSD after my combat deployment to Afghanistan, I had numerous limiting beliefs:

• This response is expected because of my tour.
• This will get better with time.
• This is the best I can do right now.
• There isn’t anything I can do to change my situation.

Although I knew those beliefs existed, I didn’t know how wrong I was. It took way too long for me to recognize that those types of beliefs were holding me back from recovering.

Since becoming a widower, I’ve been much more diligent about looking for, identifying, and challenging any limiting beliefs I might have. I’ve identified a framework to assist me with this.

Three Steps to Overcoming Limiting Beliefs:

1: Identify the belief

The only way to overcome limiting beliefs is to recognize them in the first place. I use several different methods for this.

Daily self-reflection: in my self-reflections—whether through journaling or simply taking time to think—I try to identify moments in my day when I felt a conflict occur. This is often evident in times when I felt particularly sad, defeated, depressed, or anxious. I then examine why that feeling occurred. What was I feeling then, what was I thinking, and what was my concern? I’m usually able to identify my limiting beliefs through self-reflection.

Seeking a second opinion: sometimes, my self-reflection is insufficient to identify the limiting beliefs, and that’s where a second opinion is extremely valuable. I work with my therapist, business coach, and social support network to discuss my challenges and issues. They can often identify the stuck points for me when I might be completely blind to the limiting belief. Therapy plays a crucial role, especially when it comes to managing mental illnesses such as PTSD.

2: Challenge the belief

Once I’ve identified my limiting belief, I must do something about it. I will often ask myself the following questions:

Is this really true?  For example, is it really true that there’s nothing I can do to overcome my PTSD?

What is the evidence to support this belief? Is there anything substantial to support it, or is my anxious mind just making up false reasons?

What is the evidence that contradicts this belief? What treatment options are available for PTSD? What does treatment for PTSD entail? What is the success rate for therapy?

3: Create a new belief

After challenging the limiting belief, I then instill a new belief based on evidence and future commitment. This can involve reframing my perspective.

For example, when faced with contradictory evidence, I implemented a new belief that I could do something about my PTSD because I saw how others have managed to overcome it. My new belief became that I was someone whom my PTSD didn’t limit.

If I am someone who can deal with my PTSD, that means that I must take action toward becoming that type of person. What does that type of person do?

They take ownership of their situation, work on managing their symptoms more effectively, ask for help, and go to therapy. That allowed me to get to work on growth, because my new identity aligned with those actions.

Using your new identity:

Your beliefs and attitudes shape your mindset. If you want to change your circumstances, you must start with your internal beliefs.

I know that my current situation is a product of my internal beliefs and attitudes. Once I became more vigilant about my beliefs, I was able to take charge of my recovery from the various traumas and mental struggles in my life.

When you reshape your internal dialogue, you unlock your potential for transformation. Take control of your growth and tell a story of resilience, strength, and worthiness because that’s exactly who you are.