Have you ever noticed that when you purchase a new (to you) vehicle, you start to see how many of the same cars are driving around?  It’s not that your vehicle suddenly became more popular. The difference is in your perception and what your subconscious is paying attention to.

The reason is quite fascinating. Your brain is like a computer, and you have your conscious and subconscious minds. Your conscious mind is what you focus your attention on, whether it’s a conversation, a book you are reading, or a task you are completing. Although you only focus on one thing at a time, your senses still take in information from your environment – and your subconscious is processing that information.

Your conscious mind can process about 40-60 bits of information per second, whereas your subconscious can process an estimated 11 million bits of information per second. That’s a staggering 220,000 times more information!

Now, here’s where it gets even more interesting. You can “program” your subconscious with your mindset. Your mindset – comprised of your beliefs and attitudes – can harness the processing power of your subconscious. This means you can choose what to look for as you go about your day.

Just like the vehicles driving around on the roads, you don’t usually notice or care about specific models unless that information is important to you. Your senses still perceive them, but you don’t consciously notice until you purchase your particular vehicle. That shift in your mindset—telling your subconscious that your model is important—makes it so that you can now see all the same ones. Your senses pick them up, and your subconscious points them out to you.

Now what does this have to do with feeling fulfilled?

We’ve evolved to pay attention to threats. This was key to our ability to survive and adapt – we needed to recognize threats and learn from those experiences quickly. Think of it like buying a computer with pre-loaded software. These programs are hardwired in our brains. So, as you go about your day, you generally focus on negatives as part of your normal functioning. This puts a “negative filter” on your recollection, as we tend to remember the bad things first.

The problem is our mental well-being and feelings of fulfillment are tied to our perception of our lives. If you only focus on the negatives, then your quality of life is negatively impacted. How do we combat this?

The key to increasing your feelings of fulfillment without changing your external circumstances is to program your subconscious to look for the positives.

The way to do this is to build a simple habit into your daily routine: practicing mindfulness. People often associate mindfulness with meditation or other spiritual practices, but mindfulness at its most basic level is choosing what to pay attention to.

Do you take time to reflect on your day? And if so, what are you focusing on?

If you want to feel more fulfilled, spend a few minutes consciously choosing to look for the positives at the end of your day. One of the easiest ways to do this is to practice gratitude. Think about the things that you appreciate from your day. In doing so, you are adopting a more positive mindset that tells your subconscious to look for positive moments in your day instead of just negative ones.

Over time, these positive experiences in your day will become more readily apparent, and you will start to balance out your negative filter. You will realize how many things you can be thankful for, and it will provide a much-needed boost of positivity and a feeling of fulfillment in your life.

Mindfulness isn’t about ignoring the negatives. It’s about finding a balance.

When I was a caregiver for my late wife in the final stages of her cancer, it was hard to find any positives. My days were incredibly hard, scary, and filled with stress. I could have allowed myself to wallow in the misery of the situation, but I chose a different path.

Instead of focusing on the negatives, I intentionally sought out the things I could be grateful for. Whether it was the time I spent with her in the hospital, the moments she was pain-free, or the jokes we shared, there was always something I could latch on to. My gratitude didn’t erase the pain but made it more bearable. It helped me be less stressed, less distracted by the hardship, and more present and attentive to her needs.

We’ve evolved to be sensitive to threats, which makes it easy to get lost in the negatives. When we do this, we feel lost, unfulfilled, and have a poor quality of life. The key to turning this around is practicing mindfulness and choosing what you focus your attention on. If you can spend a few minutes each day reflecting on the positives – you can harness the power of your subconscious. In time, you will transform the quality of your life for the better.

Action Steps:

You must practice mindfulness over a period of time to feel the benefits. Just like you can’t do one workout and expect to suddenly be stronger, it takes time and dedication for it to become transformative.

1. Dedicate 3-5 minutes for mindfulness at the end of your day. Make this time non-negotiable.
2. Reflect on your day, intentionally looking for moments you can be grateful for. Try to identify at least 3.
3. Ask yourself, why were these moments positive? What can you do to create more positive experiences like that?
4. Commit to doing this on a daily basis.
5. After a week or two, reflect on the improvements you’ve noticed since practicing mindfulness. Have you noticed any benefits? If so, keep it up!

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